OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
