just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
