I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize