omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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