some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
