he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
