I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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