Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
