Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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