Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
