new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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