I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
