Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
