did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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