Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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