i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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