I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
