alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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