I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
