I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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