He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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