It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
