The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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