Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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