You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
