Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
