everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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