i need an iv and a liver transplant
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
