Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize