I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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