Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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