blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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