I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
