dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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