new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
