so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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