The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
