Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
