I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
