I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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