So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize