sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
