I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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