he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
