The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
