I just saw a hot homeless man
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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