I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize