I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
