omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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