One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
