dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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