So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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