You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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