Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
