so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
