and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
