New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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