it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
