Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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