you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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