plz talk dirty to me
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
