He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
