Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He called his prostate his "boner button".
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
