That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
