Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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