Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
