i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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