I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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