I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
