"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
