Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
