Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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