i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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