I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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