tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
